He Wants Peace
by Apple Jack
Summary: Shikamaru just wants a quiet spot to stare at the clouds with. But how can this be possible, with intimate couples, extremely difficult jutsu, and a jounin picnic? To be continued.
1. Potato Salad and A Jounin Picnic

A/N: Insert Disclaimer here.  
  
He Wants Peace  
  
XXXXX  
  
Nara Shikamaru enjoys watching clouds.  
  
Nara Shikamaru enjoys peace when he watches clouds.  
  
Nara Shikamaru does not enjoy having his peace interrupted in the local park by a picnic for four jounin.  
  
Puff.  
  
"Jeez, Asuma, do you really have to smoke that damned thing all the time?"  
  
Shikamaru's sensei cocked his shoulder to one side and shrugged.  
  
Puff.  
  
"Haha! Great rival Kakashi, my potato salad is one thousand times more magnificent and delicious than yours!"  
  
Lee's sensei was a pompous idiot, Shikamaru thought lazily.  
  
"..."  
  
"Great rival Kakashi...?"  
  
"Taste test."  
  
"Loser swims five hundred laps around the lake, wearing my Special Weights of Great and Unexpected Heaviness and my Magnificent 100% Iron Training Boots!"  
  
"... Done."  
  
There was a scraping noise as the bowls of potato salad were pushed toward Asuma and Kurenai.  
  
Splat. The potato salad of the two rivals was dropped onto the plates of Asuma and Kurenai.  
  
Asuma began to eat loudly.  
  
Kurenai chewed quietly.  
  
The two jounin stared into each other's eyes, deep into their souls, Asuma into Kurenai's violent red eyes, burning with a passion, and Kurenai into Asuma's, deep brown orbs, which ... just sat there.  
  
Suddenly, Kurenai grabbed Asuma's head and forced it onto the table.  
  
"Mmmmm-mmmf! Mmmm-mmmmm....."  
  
The two were French-kissing.  
  
Shikamaru wrinkled his face in disgust. He had had enough.  
  
Shikamaru slowly rose, as if he was too lazy too, and walked off into Konoha village.  
  
Looking behind him, he saw that his sensei and Kurenai were still kissing.  
  
XXXXX  
  
Kakashi stared at the intimate couple carefully. Slowly, he said...  
  
"Isn't that sexual harassment?"  
  
Gai smiled broadly and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  
  
"Ha! My magnificent and delicious potato salad even inspires lust! See how Kurenai-san sexually harasses Asuma-san for a mere morsel of my salad!"  
  
Panting as the couple pulled apart.  
  
"Actually, I liked Kakashi's better ."  
  
More panting.  
  
"I agree... with Asuma. Kakashi's ... is better."  
  
"Now we're even, Gai..."  
  
"Goddamnit!"  
  
XXXXX  
  
A/N: No, not a one-shot. To be continued.  
  
For reviews.  
  
WILL WRITE FOR REVIEWS!  
  
Also, a beta reader might be nice. E-mail me.  
  
Yeah. 


	2. Burning Trees and Teenage Boys

Insert Disclaimer Here.  
  
XXXXX  
  
He Wants Peace  
  
Chapter Two  
  
XXXXX  
  
Nara Shikamaru enjoys watching clouds.  
  
Nara Shikamaru enjoys having peace when he watches clouds.  
  
Nara Shikamaru does not like teenage boys sparring violently in his cloud- watching spot.  
  
Two Konoha genin are shouting loudly, and the whistling noises of kunai and shuriken pierce the air.  
  
Shikamaru scrunches up his face in frustration, tries not to notice the ongoing battle, tries to focus on the cloud shaped like a deer.  
  
"Chidori!"  
  
"Rasengan!"  
  
A whizzing noise and the thundering of a ball of pure chakra crashing through trees.  
  
The humming noise of concentrated chakra and the smell of burning trees.  
  
Another whizzing noise, one Shikamaru identifies as belonging to a kunai.  
  
More whizzing noises, also kunai.  
  
"Aah!"  
  
The sound of tearing fabric.  
  
Sasuke is indeed, an excellent marksman.  
  
Shikamaru tries not to notice, and tries to focus on the cloud shaped like a butterfly.  
  
It's not working.  
  
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"  
  
The smoke of the appearance of at least a dozen doppelgangers obstructs Shikamaru's vision.  
  
"Damn."  
  
Sasuke's Chidori pierces through every doppleganger, and only the true Naruto remains.  
  
"Fuck!"  
  
"Nowhere to go, Naruto..."  
  
Shikamaru has noticed that Sasuke has disappeared, suddenly.  
  
Naruto turns his head around, searching for the other boy frantically.  
  
"Huh? Where'd he go?"  
  
The blonde's question is answered, as he finds himself pinned to the ground by Sasuke.  
  
"Hey! No fai-"  
  
Sasuke silences Naruto with a passionate kiss.  
  
"Mmf!"  
  
And Shikamaru sees Naruto, surprised, has begun to return the kiss.  
  
The two look like they're trying to eat each others' faces whole.  
  
Shikamaru turns away. That was gross.  
  
And the chuunin got up from the grass, and walked into Konoha village in search of a quieter cloud-watching space.  
  
XXXXX  
  
Yes, I will continue this. FOR REVIEWS! 


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